Soulless, loveless?

I think I lost my soul at work. I don't dream anymore. Maybe I never had a soul all along. How could I miss something I never had? It's an appalling emptiness. I always dread I'm too serious for other people to hang around with, so I cut it off with some punchline, like it was a joke all along.

But not today.

The reason I have the impression of not having a soul, is that I can't feel love from within. For me, love comes rather from chemical reactions in my body. If I leave it alone for a while, it goes away. Like a headache. But then again, maybe I've never really felt/had/experienced love, so that's why I underrate it so much. This used to freak me out, leave me desperate for an answer.

But not anymore.

Nowadays, I just lay quiet for a while. It goes away. Like a headache.

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