Wandering away
It’s annoying how much I change over time. Change takes place inevitably when I’m alone. Loneliness is uncomfortable, but solitude is intrinsic to my being. It’s not a matter of “if you leave me alone, I’ll change.” It is due no matter what. I need solitude and I’ll have it whenever I need it. I can easily shut myself from the outside world wherever I am, in order to wander in the world of my thoughts. I have come to realize that people do not come and go into my life. It is I that part from them, because of my taking different paths. ‘Tis the way it has been with everyone who’s become somehow dear and close to me. I had a selfish, misled opinion that other people did not care enough about me to stay close, but now I see how hard it is to stay close to a nonstop nomad. How can one stay close to a person one can’t even find (not in geographical terms, but in terms of state of spirit and mind)? So there it is, this is why I can’t hold on to people; they’re like sand in my hands--or maybe...